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Squirrel Radio: Boundaries

Life Principles: Introduction

Reading even a handful of my blog articles illustrates that I've had my share of struggles with anxiety, panic attacks, and addiction in the elusive forms of an obsession with control and an eating disorder. To put it bluntly, I experience mental illness. From time to time the chemicals in my brain become unbalanced due to stress or others factors beyond my cognitive control. In the past when this happened I fell off the wagon and spiralled down into a dark place where, in the clutches of madness, I destroyed both myself and my relationships. I'm open and honest with these issues with the intent of helping others who may need a bit of guidance regarding how to appropriately disconnect from similar compulsive thoughts and behaviours in their own lives, and come to accept their own mania. Understand that I don't have the ultimate answer as everyone's journey of healing takes a different form, but I do Know the principles I implemented served to change the person I was into the person that I am; one who has a more robust method for navigating these rough patches so that I can protect myself and, most importantly, my support network. I can state proudly, and with absolute confidence, that I am a completely different person; I've not experienced a full-blown panic attack in almost three years. It takes constant reinforcement and practice, but preserving my sanity and cultivating loving, lasting relationships is more than worth the effort. This work has allowed me to first accept, and then unconditionally love who I am, despite my past experiences and proclivity for flipping my shit. My method is simple: Replace negative thoughts and behaviours, whether anxious, depressed, addictive or rage-sodden in nature, with more positive, constructive and healthy habits. Ones that expand the distance between the person that is and the new and improved version that is being created. 

I therefore propose a series I'm calling "Life Principles," which will deconstruct and explain the ideals that have effected my own personal growth. Principles I have changed throughout the years to suite my particular needs in the present, but repeat multiple times a day, everyday, to keep me balanced and hold the madness at bay. These principles were collected across a plethora of both spiritual and scientific based literature. I also transcended the 12-Steps of AA, which I've mentioned in a previous and rather brilliant article, recognising its undisputed reputation to heal an addictive Mind. My issue was not alcohol, but replace alcohol with anxious thoughts or a need to control and it is clear that I am a tried and true addict nonetheless. Admittedly, some of these concepts are deeply spiritual and flat-out strange to someone without a High Power, so people should pick and choose as they see fit and interpret these principles through their own filter. I'm not about to judge anyones' beliefs or speculate that a Higher Power is necessary to make these changes. Again, everyones' path is different and I did not start off as spiritual as I have become, but I must concede that spirituality served to deepen my experience and sense of empowerment. Regardless, the only things a person truly need to address their mental illness in whatever form it presents itself is an understanding of the underlying issue, a sincere desire to change and the steadfast belief that they hold the courage, power and determination to effect that change. Be well, be happy.

At first I debated listing my principles, wanting to harbour them and keep them secret; the result of all my hard work. They likely won't make sense to others as they are part of my four year spiritual journey. I've decided to state them here, however, with the promise of explaining their meaning (to me) in further detail in subsequent articles. For now read them, give them meaning and use them to practice where relevant and as needed.

I accept my feelings, and I know they will change.

I celebrate emotions and appreciate their beauty.

I manifest love and happiness.

I make conscious decisions to act with an intention of love.

I expect nothing.

I know that worrying, obsessing and controlling are illusions.

I am patient and accept my lack of control.

I operate on God time.

I let go of who I was a and love who I am.

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Sometimes

Sometimes you run

Sometimes you laugh

Sometimes you are lost 

Sometimes you spiral 

Sometimes you expect too much 

Sometimes you believe the lies 

Sometimes you fight 

Sometimes you hang on too tight 

Sometimes you writhe in pain

Sometimes you let go 

Sometimes you cry 

Sometimes, it's worth it