My views and advice on such topics as Diet and Exercise; Anxiety, Panic and Addiction; Spirituality and Random things that I find interesting.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Thought of the Day 05/16/2014: What Should I Be When I Grow Up?

I'm pushing 30 hard yet 'The Ordeal' has left me asking the question: Do I even know what the hell I should do with my life? So last night I took a Career Test and though the results didn't surprise me, they did prompt me to analyze them differently than I have in the past.

Occupational Interests:
Health Service 94
Food Service 89
Teaching/Social Service 80
Writing 65
Science 65
Outdoors 62
Sales 58
Administration 41
Personal Service 31
Industrial Art 14
Clerical 10
Art 1

The lowest common denominator of my highest scoring occupations seems clear enough: Service; though I'll admit that Science and Writing being equal was a bit unexpected, but pleasant. Indeed, what I do, and always have, enjoy most in life is making other people happy.  I feed off their positive energy like an emotional leach. This propensity towards pleasing others goes to such an extent that I'd actually prefer to lose if I know it'll elate the other person; winning means less to me than their merriment. This morning in spin class it was pointed out to me that that is how I consider myself as 'winning', which I found thought-provoking. I get such a kick out of smiles and jocular conversations with anyone from close friends and loved ones to random strangers, in fact,  just one is enough to offset any assholes or other forms of negativity I may come across.  I sometimes even enjoy interacting with those types of people more as I see making them smile, or perk up in any complying way, as a challenge; and I love a good challenge.
According to this chart I'd have a hard time choosing between Candor (which suits my innate tell-all honest disposition) and Abnegation if I were living in the dystopian society set out in Divergent.
Here's the interesting part.  I'm a classically trained scientist and every job I've considered to have been meaningful in my life up until now has been related to health care and/or pharmaceuticals. Though I've always concurrently held food or customer service jobs such as working at Regal, King Soopers, Old Navy or McDonald's, I've never thought of them as 'my real job' despite the fact that I often, in retrospect, found those types of vocations more rewarding on a personal level. In fact, I've always had 'the real job' to make money, while working the other to interact with society and keep The Wild Card stimulated, thus content. So I ask myself now, knowing that my debts are paid, my nonmaterial lifestyle requires few funds for adequate maintenance and the need for money is therefore no longer a consideration in career choice, which would I rather do? Drum roll please.... I choose Food Service! I would much rather be a lowly waitress for the rest of my life then climb the ranks within a pharmaceutical company simply because it's truer to my real character, now that I've finally come to accept and love that true Being. I want a simple life; one without trivial first-world related anxiety, where I can live in a beautiful place, make enough money to get by, exercise, write and meditate anytime I want without feeling like I should be working on something more important, and just be Me.

Most importantly, as I read and reflect on what I've just written I realize that this is my newly found humility. This decision tempers my natural inclinations to be a Leader that influences others through management, goal-driven and ambitious to a fault. My Worker can be humble, leading by example rather than force; leaving my tiny footprint on this Earth simply by being remembered as a Good Person, always relying a smile and kind words to those I meet along the path of life.

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