Thought of the Day 09/06/2013: Being My Own Best Friend

As I was mentally gearing up to enter the 'cold' bathroom at work (I usually opt to walk further to avoid this one since its kept at 58 degrees), I thought: "Ok, are we ready? We'll be alright so long as my ass doesn't freeze to the seat." I giggled as I walked in.

I say these types of things to myself often, funny reactions to things I see and experience, and today I realized that this is what makes my Mind my favorite companion.  So long as my sense of humor is intact, I'm my own best friend and live in a happy existence.  This epiphany came to me, however, because I know what its like to feel like I'm sharing my Body with a complete stranger, and its terrifying.  So terrifying, in fact, that it was the one and only time I consented to taking medication to control my anxiety.  My anxiety and panic attacks had gotten so bad that my sense of humor, and everything else I liked about myself, had completely disappeared; gripped only in terror every minute of everyday and never able to glean a beam of light at the end of the tunnel.  I was convinced I had lost my mind, and my extremely hilarious BFF was nowhere to seen; unable to help me see the hilarity of my chronic paranoia and unsettling thoughts.

Since then I've gone down the rabbit hole and back, and though it was a scary journey, I'm grateful.  It taught me that medication such as Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac and other anti-depression/anxiety medications are a fantastic tool to treat mental habits that we can not otherwise controls.  They do not necessarily have to be permanent, serving to correct a particular issue after which one can go back to their normal existence without them, or long-term treatment may be warranted.  Either way, the experience made me realize that there is help, and I shouldn't suffer needlessly because I obsessively think that I should be able to fix my own brain chemistry like some kind of friggin' Freudian Jedi.

My typical regimen of meditation, alone/down-time, exercise and healthy diet are typically enough to control my anxiety; even still there are times I completely flip my lid, seemingly for no reason.  During such times nothing is funny and my panic threshold erupts past its breaking point, raw adrenaline courses through my veins and I'm off to the crazy races.  That's when I know it's time to bust out a Xanax and take a mental vacation, everything is hilariously unimportant on Xanax.

[NOTE: I say this in jest, but it's critical to avoid dependence on short-term fixes like Xanax.  If the anxiety is chronic, then a long-term treatment like an SSRI (those mentioned above), are infinitely more appropriate.]