Not to sound insensitive, but there's nothing like the sudden death of an acquaintance to knock us of our 'ho-hum-life' pedestals and leave us quacking in our 'holy-shit' boots. Left clutching our lonely concept of mortality, we instantly realize that, 'poof', one day it'll all be over; we will physically cease to exist in this life, leaving behind the culmination of our social and material lives. Logically, the next thoughts settle upon two almighty questions, which are always the bulk of my focus: "Who will notice or otherwise give a shit when I'm no longer around?" and more importantly, "How will I be remembered?"
These questions can be both extremely beneficial and detrimental depending on one's personal outlook, positive or negative, respectively. A positive person would use this as motivation to continually improve themselves, work towards their personal goals, explore and refine their spirituality and generally leave a positive impact. All this despite seemingly meager personal accomplishments with respects to social status, wealth and other worldly measures of success. When your dead, these types of accomplishments will mean surprisingly little unless you achieved world peace or invented the internet. Despite a myriad of other faults, I consider myself a steadfast member of this court and have thus realized my own, simple, remembrance wish-list; I want people to remember that I always had a smile on my face and a happy greeting to offer, even it it was obvious that I was faking it. I want to make people laugh, in death as well as in life.
Okay, let's take a turn to negativity town because my next point is of critical importance though it may seem harsh on its surface. Negative people consider these same questions and think: "No one would notice," and "No one would care," or still worse, "People would be happier and/or better off if I was dead." Many a suicidal note have indicated these very thoughts to be the motivating factors behind the action. Now, let me be rightly understood, these destructive ideas are nothing short of irrational self-victimization. If you truly believe these things seek therapy immediately, because to think you can live and function in this world without leaving any type of footprint is completely insane. Hell, if you're that negative, you've likely left your nasty footprints all over the faces of everyone around you; sure to leave in impression! Seriously though, guests on Jerry Springer have proven, time and again, that someone will be bat-shit crazy enough to love you and experience a gapping hole in your absence regardless of your unique level of negative and/or combative asshole-ness. Someone will miss you when you die, or at the very least wonder where you've gone. And here's the very best part: It's NEVER too late to change! Why just think of Scrooge!
So, think positive and consider these two points which will hopefully lift your spirits, in an attempt to prepare them for their ultimate fall into whatever abyss you associate with death:
1. People You Don't Even Know Will Miss You or At Least Realize You're Gone
Aside from friends, family and various loved ones and acquaintances, people leave an impression everywhere they go without realizing it. People you see everyday, but may never speak to or learn their name, will notice when you've left this earth. The cashier at Wal-mart, co-workers in a huge plant, people you met on vacation, childhood friends, fellow cardio-junkies at the gym, and individuals that share your taste in music and/or movies you've seen at concerts/movies. Each of them have thought about you without you being the wiser. Just a you know faces who have no name or personality beyond that which you've assigned to them; others have thought the same of you. Just think, to some random person out there, you were the person who picked their wedgie in the mall that day.
2. The Memory That Will Survive You is Likely Already Set in the Minds of Others
Contemplate anyone in your life (friend, family, random acquaintance) and imagine if they were to suddenly die [insert amusingly random reason]; how would you remember them? I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you already have a specific memory and/or association in mind, and unless something drastic happens to change it that memory will follow them to their actual grave. For example, hands-down the most intelligent man in Plessis, NY and a good friend of my mother's left this world last Saturday night, Bob Cheeseman. But before I had even heard the news, I knew exactly how I'd always remember Bob alive or dead: Cribbage and Busch beer in a can, with a glass. Also, my oldest sister, Amanda, died at 25 years old. Though she plagued the family with lying, and alcohol and drug abuse, I will always remember her as the 12 year old girl who first pushed me out of the Pizza Hut booth onto the floor consequently tripping a waitress, and later face-planting me into a snow bank, during a particularly raucous night out. All for grabbing her boob and proclaiming "Honk, Honk!" Once she died her negative actions became irrelevant; I will always think of her fondly and miss her dearly. Know that all loved ones make these same allowances, kind of like Jesus.
Lastly, if you suspect you won't like the memory that people identify with you, ask them. If you're right, do something insane and spontaneous to change it. When in doubt, shit yourself in public in front of them. Not only is it hilarious, but nobody forgets an "I shit myself" story!
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