Thought of the Day 12/18/2013: I Talk the Talk, but am I Ready to Walk the Walk?

Citation

All my life I've struggled with the difference between what I'm trying to accomplish and what people perceive I'm capable of based on my age and appearance. In every role I've had people tell me how young I look, insinuating that I can hardly know what real life is like, and making me feel condescended too in general.  People can't tell by appearance, however, that I've supported myself since I was 17 years old and have had to work very hard to rise above my upbringing.  Life taught me some very tough lessons earlier than they hit most people.  The primary issue is that I was born old; always wise beyond my years and never able to convince others of my abilities, though admittedly not overly willing to try as my approval seeking days are behind me.  This, combined with my ambitious nature, has led to a somewhat frustrating life; only in my recent role have I been given more responsibility, and even then it's extremely limited and I still do my share of grunt-work.  Now, in stepping into my new position as a Compounding Production Supervisor I'll finally be taking that pivotal step in my career, from piss-on to not so much of a piss-on, haha, but I'm scared of this change; am I really ready for it?

I won't lie, there's a certainly a level of comfort that comes with being a piss-on.  Ultimately, the final decision comes down to my boss, and I can elevate issues that I don't want to deal with myself.  These practices will no longer cut it.  I will soon be the people others go to to make critical decisions and look to for guidance, and while I'll still have my own manager, these responsibilities are expected of me.  During my interview I made it clear that I both sought and felt comfortable with this level of responsibility, but when it comes time to make a call that will be the difference of 500G worth of product being accepted or rejected  I'll likely feel some butterflies in my stomach, or vomit.

Regardless, I am prepared to own my decisions, good or bad, and take responsibility for my mistakes.  I do this because I'm unwilling to hang my workers out to dry for any product lost on my shift.  I'm doing this for the production personnel who bust their butt everyday for 12 hours and never feel supported or hear that their doing a good, and extremely important, job.  I want to motivate the troops! I want to show them that attitude is a choice by walking in everyday with a smile on my face despite chaos and adversity, and telling them that their contribution to the company is absolutely critical.   I want to improve the quality of Hospira's products by improving the morale on the production floor, to cultivate job satisfaction in my employees by understanding their underlying motivations.  Granted, I realize there are some people who will not be responsive to my efforts, such people will never change and that's too bad.  I don't have   For the rest, however, I know I can turn negative to positive; that is my ultimate mission and it will require every ounce of serenity I have, it may even require that I excuse myself to some secluded corner, cry, and then come back to rally for the rest of the shift.

Will I make mistakes? Hell yes.  Will I make million dollar mistakes? Not without trying my damn-est to get help first.  Will my attitude elevation tactic work? I have no idea. Will I be able to maintain my own positive attitude while working a 12 hour over-night shift? Probably not, but I'm sure as hell going to try.

In short, I don't know if I'm ready, but I'm going to do it anyway.