Travel Day 13: Wednesday, 6/27/2012

08:30 Berlin Hostel [Link to Pics]
BAD, BAD, BAD ...... I can't even describe the pain in my stomach, I'm shitting blood and water, and if I stand for more than a couple of minutes I get lightheaded and have to sit.

Last night I drank too much, for one; a tequila sunrise out of a fucking can, then I stopped at a convenience store for vodka and diet coke. On the way to the bar I saw all these great middle eastern places and started formulating ideas.... I couldn't find that Cassiopeia Club with the 80's music and even asked at some hipster bar where I got a G&T, yuck; all that sugar it's no wonder I'm in such distress. Well, that or the falafel pita with every kind of spicy and sweet sauce they had to put on it. Can you (I) imagine?! More, even after all I had already had. Getting drunk was my excuse to eat yet again, an excuse, something to blame or use to write off my very poor choice. What's more, while sitting at that bar, I got 2 very clear messages:

1. I was there for someone else, someone else's lesson. It wasn't even clear who.
2. I very clearly heard 'Sometimes you have to poison your body to enlighten your soul.'

Sweet Mother Fucking Jesus, I got it. In fact, this lesson was so starkly ironic when I woke up in severe distress, not knowing if I had to shit or puke; just knowing that something was very, very wrong, that I would've laughed if I hadn't been hunched over on the toilet, dripping with cold sweat, wavering in and out of consciousness. Here's what I notice, my level of attachment to my own body has changed. I'm able to watch my symptoms, feel everything, and carefully assess what I should do to help. My awareness has definitely shifted. The Watcher is very strong now, she saw the shitty mood yesterday, she watched as I consciously over-indulged/poisoned the body and now, despite a constant powerful pain in my abdomen and a constant threat of passing out, the Watcher is there as an observer, prompting my mind chakra to ask the very important question: 'Should I go to a hospital?'

I still haven't decided. Perhaps I just need to take it very easy today? Just in case, I'm stationed on the couches in front of reception. I went into the breakfast room and got some peppermint tea, toast and yogurt, but I had to sit due to light headedness and just sat there with my head on the table. An old lady rubbed my back and spoke in German. I told her I was sick; she said she didn't speak English but indicated not to eat the yogurt and toast is better. I picked at it but began feeling very sick again. I barely made it to the bathroom before the lightheadedness overcame me again, the cold sweats came back and I just sat on the toilet. Only a little blood water came out.

I feel like a fucking empty milk/yogurt carton that someone filled with water, shook really hard and emptied out repeatedly. I'm just plain-old sick. I can't even fathom walking up the stairs to my room, let alone around Berlin or to a store for some Slim Fast. 

This is exactly what happened when I ate that fucking Brie! Water/sleep seemed to help the most, but it took me a few days to fully recover. At least I'll be saving money! Now I just need to figure out what my POA [plan of action] is; going for a jog is out, haha. Holy shit I'm in rough shape. All I can do is sit and stare, I must look awesome, I just came down from bed. 

Well, I guess I'll go back to bed and see how I feel after some water and rest; then I can go get a Slim Fast and see how walking a little ways goes. I still think yogurt is a good idea and I know mint tea would be good.... it's the blood that concerns me. What the fuck did I do? I know I ate a lot of fried food, like 'Thanksgiving Diet Day', but that didn't last long. No, this is exactly like the Brie only worse because it's a combo of extreme chocolate, currywurst, schnitzel, booze and falafel. WTF?! I have two weeks to try all those things, why-oh-why(!) did I decide to consume them all in one day?!

Ok, going to attempt to go upstairs to bed.... I just want to be able to make it to Heidelberg tomorrow.

12:30

I drank water and went back to bed until just now when I had to get up and shit more blood/water, didn't seem as red this time though. I ate a banana so I'm going to give it half an hour and if I feel ok I'm going to venture to the store. I saw an Ewe on Potsdamer Platz last night, near the U-Bahn. If I feel even better by tonight/tomorrow, I'd like to look around Tiergarten and go see the Berlin Wall/Check Point Charlie. My stomach still hurts, well technically it's my abdomen, but I think I can ignore it and a slow walk may help. If they don't have Ensure or Slim Fast I'll just get soup.

14:44

I'm now fairly hopeful for a somewhat speedy recovery. I walked, albeit slowing, to the store and got some non-perishable milk, apples, soup and rolls. I came back and ate a nice meal of salad, clementine, 2 of those wafers I got from the other hostel and a Nesquick chocolate milk with vitamins. Now, I'm going to rest a bit and if everything stays down and the pain continues to get better I'll take off to Tiergarten and my final 2 points of interest. I only seem to shit when I also pee, so it seems that may be under control and it looks less bloody. The pain, as I said, is a bit better. Those wafers by the way are really good and tasted like big bran flakes. Anyway, I figure I'll lie down for about an hour and take a quick shower before going out. Then I'll have a nice dinner of soup and a roll. Yay. Oh, and I must look like hell cuz everyone in the store avoided me, haha, but I was asking where the 'meal shakes' are [and that confused them].  Turns out, you have to buy stuff like that at pharmacies here. 

20:00

Good walk! I can definitely make it to the station tomorrow. It still hurts like a mother and there's still blood, but at least I can walk and take some nourishment. I walked, in a down pour, about 2 and a half hours around to my last sites. The walk to the anhalter S-Bahn station is much nicer (through parks) so that's how I'll get to the Hbf in the morning. I also stopped to get some tourist crap. 

So, I realized I forgot to share a couple of things:

1. I saw a huge Sanofi-Aventis HQ right on Potsdamer Platz and a tall BASF building last night when I got off the U-Bahn station at Warschauer; great for job ideas!
2. On my walk back from the Kurfursten U-Bahn station I was a young guy with a hot woman, but then I realized it was a Tranny! Then once out of the station and at street level I saw more [prostitutes] and at least some were also Trannies! Just thought it was cool to see.

Then a car pulled up next to me and a guy in a really nice car said something in German; I said I spoke English and he replied 'Do you want to go for a drink with me?' I said no, thank you, and he didn't press the issue.  That's when I realized, even potential date-rappers are moral, respectful, here, haha. It was about 02:00. If I had gone with him I would've sent a distinct green light for sexual acts. Instead of being a creep, he asked and respected my answer. I feel like an American would've been misleading/conniving or just take what he really wanted. The funny thing was I had on my gray pants, ladybug shirt and jean jacket, not at all scantily clad like the prostitutes, haha. Ok, I'm going to fill my Nalgene, plan my train schedule, pack and sleep.

Oh, just one more thing; despite adding to my gastrointestinal demise, that was the best damn falafel pita I've ever had! The falafel was crispy but mushy too, and the guy put both a red pepper rub in the pita and a mango sauce. It pains me to say this, as I just had another bout of the shits. Either my meager lunch went straight through me or its the back-up from yesterday, I thought I should say that. Ok, I'm not feeling very well again.... to bed!

Tomorrow: Wake up around 06:30 to pack/get ready 

Berlin to Frankfurt 07:34

Frankfurt to Heidelberg 13:20

If I don't feel like the 30 minute walk to the Hostel, take a 10 minute bus ride on #32.