Dear Readers,
I just wanted to express what's been on my mind since posting "Thoughtful Diffusion." First of all, I feel the blog is becoming a bit unbalanced. Because of my current transition and soul-searching, I've been writing more about spirituality and the new principles I'm practicing, which at best will seem extremely odd to 99% of the human population. I apologize for the authoritative tone, and would beg you to believe that I cannot yet myself so simply let go of habitual, destructive, thoughts as I described in "Thoughtful Diffusion". In fact, I've spent the last two days having a heart-to-heart with my shit sandwich, feeling like Ms. Pissy Pants to boot. We are human and will always experience these emotions; the best we can do is create some space between who we truly are and the extent to which we allow those emotions to rule our lives. It is a practice I implement everyday. I have felt the benefits and therefore wanted to present ideas via tangible analogies in hopes others will also experience some relief from whatever form of suffering they experience (depression, anxiety, addiction, etc).
This is a completely new realm for me as I've been a scientific-biological thinker for years, with no room for anything more powerful than either myself, and what I can control, or the physical laws that govern our universe. Having had a spiritual awakening, I see the error of my ways. Critically, however, this awakening must happen within every individual for themselves. There is nothing I can directly say or do to conjure awareness or bring forth consciousness from within others. The worst aspect of religion is the concept of conversion, as if you can make someone a believer. Ludicrous. Conversion is the antithesis of my goal, I have no religious affiliation nor do I believe in putting a label on the indescribable. I only wish to remind people of what they already know, but life may have made them forget. So, I will continue to present analogies, without personal opinion, and your 'Car-Driver-Passenger' can do with the information as they see fit. On a final spiritual note, I'll ask you to ponder this: have you ever known something deep-down to be the truth, though your mind refuses to believe and/or understand it? Conversely, have you ever believed something in your mind, yet felt in your deepest layer of being that is simply wasn't true?
Any-who, this stuff really intrigues me, but I feel the need to drop the spiritual tone in my articles at present and begin delighting you all with stories of my past experiences; particularly pertaining to my life-long struggle with weight and anxiety. Life, it turns out, is quite hilarious. In seeing how ridiculous my own behaviors have been throughout the years, I hope to inspire readers and encourage everyone to take their thoughts and emotions with a grain of salt and not too seriously. My favorite saying is: 'Hindsight is 20/20,' and oh how those words are true! Upon reflection and scrutiny, its painfully easy to see how ridiculous we have acted. Come on, you know you've done some stupid shit too! And to what end? Did acting that way actually get us what we wanted? Sometimes Yes, but mostly No.
So, I invite you all to laugh at my ridiculousness along with me. Even if there's nothing relatable to your own experiences, I hope at least to provide some entertainment.
Summer
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